Suck It In

So I'm going to do it! I'm meeting with a fitness trainer on Friday and she's going to measure me and give me a workout plan. I am a measurement virgin. I mean I've had my measurements taken countless times before, but it’s always been for a theatrical wardrobe fitting, never at a gym by someone who's hoping the numbers are big so they’ll have a case study.
I'm also thinking maybe I’ll do a before pic. I'd brush my hair for this pic, have some make up on, not look like my world is over... But no bikini! Even if I’m buff and cut six months from now, I’ll have no interest in looking back on a picture of me…now…in a bikini. I'll wear form-fitting clothes and I’ll try and muster up a smile. Thankfully I’m a trained actor so…I think I can do the smile.

I just want to be healthy, not look like I did when I was 18. I want to feel good in my mom skin. I want to get my cholesterol down (it's pretty high). I want to live a long life and not groan and complain when I get out of a chair.

So I meet with my young childless trainer on Friday. In the meantime I've been drinking wine at night and have baked two batches of really yummy chocolate chip cookies before we meet.

Friday, I get serious. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday I'm seriously bad.
E

And...we're off!

First day back to school.
Alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m.
Dozed until 6:50 a.m.
Rolled outta bed and heard "I feel sick".
Didn't buy it until I saw her gray chalk-coloured face.
Well, one more day in p.j's. can't hurt.

Holiday Hangover

If I see another spinach pumpernickel bread bowl I'm gonna vomit (and it's not because I dislike it, it's because I have an addiction to it).

Today is the last day of the holidays and tomorrow we are back into the schedule of life. I'm scared.

It's gonna hurt going back. We haven't been following a schedule for two weeks and we REALLY enjoyed it. No lunches were made, no walks back and forth six times between the school and home. Don’t get me wrong, entertaining the girls for twelve hours a day was a lot of work, but I didn't bath them diligently every other day and they stayed in p.j's until 4p.m. Dance classes and Girl Guides were all done so no hectic driving in rush hour traffic… with the exception of TWO trips to the Eaton Centre just before Christmas because I’m a “masochist shopper”.

The holidays are like not going to the gym for two weeks and eating whatever you want. At first it's awesome and you think you've died and gone to heaven but by the end you feel shaky. Once you go back to the old routine you feel outta shape and sore on day two.

I'm going need a heating pad and a gin and tonic at 4 p.m. tomorrow.

And to all a good nizzzzzzzzz

I Decked The Halls!

This was an interesting Christmas. For the first time in many many years we had some extra spending money for the season. And although we knew that 2010 will be another year of budgeting, we decided to splurge on the kids. Usually in years past we would scrimp and save, hope for a miracle cheque or for money as a gift from family to pay for bills and groceries the week after the big holiday. I would always stress about it, but somehow…someway there were always too many presents under the tree and the girls were thrilled by the littlest gift. "LOOK! I got LIFESAVERS in a box with a maze on it!!!" "Rudolph's REAL!!! He dropped carrots on the way up the chimney. He's REAL, I knew it!!"

Among the gifts this year? I spent double the price on Zu Zu Hamsters for both girls because it was the must-have toy of the season. They didn't know what it was but I prided myself on getting this high demand gift. The older one got a D.S. I now know what that stands for. "Don't Sh#t when you see the price tag.” Games, puzzles, special order dolls…the list goes on. And you know what the girls loved the most? Having hot chocolate with whip cream for a week straight. Opening the Advent Calendar door every day. Going to the mailbox and checking for Christmas cards. And my personal favorite was seeing the joy on their faces when I would sing the entire "Frosty the Snowman" song for the 800th time.

Secretly I had more fun in past years coming up with creative ideas for gifts that cost next to nothing. Maybe this will be the year that I can find the perfect balance between teaching my children…and learning from them.

Happy New Year my friends,
Over spender...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ignorance is bliss. And so is a good nap.

You know, ten years ago I was convinced I had special powers.

I had this gift around kids. I could easily attract the attention of children. Just with a glance. New born babies would look at me and smile. Children would come up to me and strike up a conversation without any fear or shyness. I honestly thought I was "chosen to have children". I loved kids. I taught kids dance when I was growing up. They adored me for that one hour class and hung off my every word. The parents and children showered me with complements and gifts, telling me I was soooooo special. I knew I would be the best mother and that motherhood would be a breeze for me because of my incredible connection with every child I met.

In my twenties I swore I would never end up like those so called "mothers" on the streetcar who looked liked they hadn't showered and were giving their sweet precocious children an over the top reaming out for not sitting on their butts. (I mean really pick your battles lady. You wanted kids not china dolls).

I remember always asking my girlfriend, when she was going to stop letting her kid sleep with her and her husband, and when she was planning to stop breast feeding him. He was two for crying out loud! GROSS!

I talked to all my other twenty-something friends about this behavior and we all agreed the kid was doomed to be a total tit loving momma's boy. He'd never have a chance. She’d ruined that little boy and never ever would I do any of that crap. It's so damaging.

So it's no surprise that with all it's infinite knowing, the almighty Universe said "I'm gonna bitch slap some reality into this cocky child know-it-all."

I quickly realized I had no natural instincts with a child. None. Let alone a newborn.

Those kids I thought I had a connection with were probably shocked by my over-sized features. I was like a circus freak they couldn't stop looking at. Oh and that cruel un-showered mother on the streetcar? I make her look like Mother Theresa cuddling a dozen 6 week old puppies in one arm while blessing orphanage with the other.

Lastly, I sleep with my daughter in her bed while my husband sleeps with the other one in our bed. Every night. And you know why? WE ALL SLEEP!

AND I'm STILL breastfeeding a two year and eight month old child.

I am living proof that if you judge you will be schooled.
So learn from my pain and keep your negative thoughts to yourself and your mouth shut.

Or there will be a shit storm.

Erinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A classic Hamilton treat, Wheels Chocolate chip buns!!!!

Okay I've been asked for the chocolate chip bun recipe recently because I bragged about how good my 1st. attempt was on Facebook.

So for my Hamilton homies it's a lot of work but TOTALLY worth it !!!!!!

I don't have a pic right now BUT I will bake a batch and post asap.

Let me know if it's close Hammer heads.

Erinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The roll part,

INGREDIENTS
Makes 30.
1/4 cup warm water (115 degrees)
2 packets (1/4 ounce each) active dry yeast
1 1/2 cups warm whole milk (115 degrees)
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted, plus more for bowl and pans
1/4 cup sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons salt
3 large eggs
6 to 6 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for work surface

DIRECTIONS
1. Place water in a small bowl; sprinkle with yeast, and let stand until foamy, about 5 minutes. In a large bowl, whisk together milk, butter, sugar, salt, and 2 eggs. Whisk in yeast mixture.

2. Using a wooden spoon, stir in 6 cups flour, 1 cup at a time, until you have a soft, shaggy dough (if necessary, add up to 1/2 cup more flour). Turn dough out onto a floured work surface; knead until smooth and elastic, 5 to 10 minutes. Butter the inside of a large bowl; place dough in bowl, turning to coat. Cover bowl with plastic wrap; let stand in a warm spot until dough has doubled in size, about 1 1/4 hours.

3. Butter two 13-by-9-inch baking pans. Divide dough in half. Roll each half into a 15-inch rope; cut each rope into 15 1-inch pieces. Press each piece into a disk, then shape into a ball. Arrange dough balls in prepared pans. (To make ahead: Wrap pans well, and freeze, up to 2 months.) Cover pans loosely with plastic; let stand in a warm spot until rolls have doubled in size, about 1 1/4 hours (2 hours more if frozen).

4. Preheat oven to 375 degrees, with racks in upper and lower thirds. In a small bowl, beat remaining egg until blended; brush onto rolls. Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes, rotating pans back to front and top to bottom halfway through. Let rolls cool 15 minutes before serving.

Divide dough in half. Working with one half at a time (keep the other half covered with plastic wrap), roll dough out to a 16-by-10-inch rectangle on a lightly floured work surface.
Spread 4 tablespoons butter over dough, leaving a 1/2-inch border all around.
Spread 3/4 cups of semi sweet chocolate chips (more if you want or less if you're disciplined).

Leave a border around the filling so it doesn't seep.
Starting at a long end, roll up dough like a jellyroll; with a sharp knife, cut crosswise into 12 equal pieces.
Place buns, cut side down, in prepared pans.
Cover pans loosely with plastic; let stand in a warm spot until doubled in size, about 1 1/4 hours.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees, with racks in upper and lower thirds. Bake buns until golden brown, 25 to 30 minutes, rotating pans back to front and top to bottom halfway through. Let cool 15 minutes.

Chocolate icing recipe (use your fav or this one)
2/3 cup butter.
4 cups powdered sugar.
3 to 5 tablespoons milk.
1 teaspoon vanilla.
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa.

In large bowl, cream butter until light and fluffy.
Blend cocoa into creamed butter. Gradually add powdered sugar, beating well after each addition.
Add milk and vanilla. Beat until blended.
(From the recipe book "Cake Decorating for the first time"by Jaynie Maxfield)

Wait until buns are completely cooled to spread the chocolate icing over the pan of rolls. Then add the icing glaze over chocolate iced rolls.

This is Paula Dean's cinnamon white icing glaze recipe.
4 Tablespoons of butter, 2 cups of icing sugar, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract and 3 to 6 tablespoons of hot water. Mix butter, powdered sugar and vanilla, add 1 tablespoon at a time until glaze reaches desired consistency. Then eat it and send me love!!!!!

My Million Dollar Invention!

Okay, I love my kids.

I REALLY love them.

I craft with them, I dress up with them, I play dollhouse, camping, we read, write, draw, bike ride, bake, swim, dance, garden, tea party ... you get the idea.

There are times however when I just need to take a dump without the bathroom door swinging open and being hurried along because somebody is going to pee her pants.

Yes we only have one bathroom and yes it's very third world country of us.

I also would like to take a bath without some tiny person swinging that same door open and insisting I play with their bath toys.

I'd like to read a couple of pages from a book or go on facebook or start and finish a cup of tea (before it gets cold). Watch a WHOLE movie without pressing pause 26 times. Ok, if a movie is out of the question, how about one segment of Oprah. Just one segment!

Well folks I've come up with the solution every mother on this planet has been waiting for. A product that let's you have "your time" and no one can get near you.

You can still hear and see those precious offspring but maintain your own personal space. Your little slice of heaven that you can call your own.

Ladies, I give you... The Mommy Crate!

Only 69.99

Wine not included.

Erin...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz