Church

Ohhh religion, why do we get in trouble when we talk about you?

I grew up catholic. We went to church on Sundays. My mom promised if we were good we could visit the coffee shop for donuts after service. I was really good. It was only a few years that we went regularly and then it was Easter and Christmas and then just Christmas and then I went to musical theatre school and if a Catholic god couldn't accept my gay dance partner well he wasn't my god. My mom was pissed cuz I got all loud about it. I was twenty.

Today we're going to a visit a place that's a spiritual centre. I kinda like the sounds of that. Every group has people who LOVE to organize and lead and that makes me nervous. A few years ago I went to a Unitarian church ( I loved that group, everyone is welcome). I had a fantastic time. We coloured rocks and sang "All You Need Is Love'. It was totally my speed. I convinced my husband (who's not a fan of organized religion) to come the next Sunday with the girls. I kept selling it hard to him all week. I couldn't wait for him to see this was "our new church".

You know it's going to shit right?

We get there, sit down and I can't wait to see the look on my husband's face when he realizes he loves this place and that's when a woman standing at the front asks all the children to come up and stand with her . They all stumble up there and then she says "Today I would like each child to light a candle for those who suffered and died in the HOLOCAUST and then we'll discuss the events."
Brett looks at me and then calls the kids and leaves. I"m not sure which I was more concerned about my three year old holding fire or the TOPIC. Why were they lighting things? Why do kids at three and six need to know about these horrible events? Can we go back to singing Beatles songs? These questions were going through my head as I followed my husband out the door.

That was the last time we tried "Church".

I also forgot to mention there was a guy there in leather chaps who was playing the didgeridoo
and  a very overly affectionate polygamy relationship happening in the corner.

 Wish me luck. I know one thing for sure. If I'm good, we're going for donuts.

They're back !!!

It's been 10 years. 10 long, intense, fun, frustrating, short, sweaty, tiring, loving, years of having kids with me all day. I am a stay at home mom. Tuesday September 3, My husband and I dropped off our two girls for a full day of school. 8:40a.m. to 3:10 p.m. I have all this time in my house to do whatever I want. I had a HOT cup of coffee. I watched a show. From beginning to end. I put things away and they stayed there. When it was time to pick up the girls, I was really happy to see them. That's all I've done in the first week. Next week I'm just going to meditate for six hours straight every day to balance out the last decade. I'll let you know how it goes.

The Family That Plays Together...

I write this on "Family Day" 2013 in hopes that the new holiday will not end up costing me an extra several hundred dollars every year in the near future.  "Family Day!" Oh the pressure!! When the government officially gives us a day off, I feel like the only way to have a successful holiday is to be doing something amazing for 12 hrs straight.

Will there be family themed cupcake wrappers, cards, napkins, socks with "family" written across them? Earrings with parents dangling from one ear and children and a cat or dog dangling from the other, all filling the shelves at the dollar store?

Side note: I truly believe dollar stores would not exist if it weren't for me buying holiday themed decorations, crafts, and accessories every year.

Now I'm going to feel pressure to seek out an indoor carnival every year on family day because it's the classic overpriced fun family outing.

Well I say, STAND UP AGAINST THE SYSTEM PARENTS! 

Right now I'm sitting here in the kitchen while my children watch T.V. in the next room (Yes, it's heroin for kids eyes.) under bedsheets that have been tacked to the walls to make the biggest tent this semi detached house could ever accommodate.  I'll probably make some burnt grilled cheese sandwiches, running outta bread halfway through, then we might go skating but the chances are 50/50 because laundry is a priority and it's f'ing freezing outside!  Then we'll top off the day with homework which we'll do as a family because the new math is REALLY hard, and wrap it up with a meatloaf for dinner. But there will be a lot of laughing!

My girls will probably remember this day forever and I didn't spend a dime. 

This is a family day.

Now if we can just get the Government to launch a "Give Parents A Break" day!

E

I did my nails !!!

Well, well, well. My oldest kid is at school all day and the younger one is on my ipad, so I was able to do my nails and add a double top coat!!!! What??? I have waited 9 and 1/2 years to do it! Tomorrow I do stand up and I wanted fun fingers. I hope my jokes are fun too. I did the silver stickers by Sally Hansen and they were 50% off the original price. Win win.

Restart!

Okay soooo it's been a year and a half. I didn't follow through with the trainer. I did however discover mom dancing. Zumba. Love it. I also started hosting and producing a monthly mom and dad stand up show at a Lazy Daisy's Cafe 1515 Gerrard St. E and Smock Cafe 287 Roncessvalles. Check out Motherloadtv.com for the Facebook updates and funny random things. I promise to keep up the blogs I promise. I won't let the 3 of you down. Xo

Suck It In

So I'm going to do it! I'm meeting with a fitness trainer on Friday and she's going to measure me and give me a workout plan. I am a measurement virgin. I mean I've had my measurements taken countless times before, but it’s always been for a theatrical wardrobe fitting, never at a gym by someone who's hoping the numbers are big so they’ll have a case study.
I'm also thinking maybe I’ll do a before pic. I'd brush my hair for this pic, have some make up on, not look like my world is over... But no bikini! Even if I’m buff and cut six months from now, I’ll have no interest in looking back on a picture of me…now…in a bikini. I'll wear form-fitting clothes and I’ll try and muster up a smile. Thankfully I’m a trained actor so…I think I can do the smile.

I just want to be healthy, not look like I did when I was 18. I want to feel good in my mom skin. I want to get my cholesterol down (it's pretty high). I want to live a long life and not groan and complain when I get out of a chair.

So I meet with my young childless trainer on Friday. In the meantime I've been drinking wine at night and have baked two batches of really yummy chocolate chip cookies before we meet.

Friday, I get serious. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday I'm seriously bad.
E

And...we're off!

First day back to school.
Alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m.
Dozed until 6:50 a.m.
Rolled outta bed and heard "I feel sick".
Didn't buy it until I saw her gray chalk-coloured face.
Well, one more day in p.j's. can't hurt.